I woke up this morning to find Calliope sitting at my dining room table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf I\u2019d known you were showing up today,\u201d I said, \u201cI would have worn my formal jammies.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, please,\u201d she said, gesturing to herself. The muse was sitting in my usual chair with her knees tucked up under her chin. She was dressed down today in sky blue sweatpants and a \u201cYoyodyne Propulsion Systems\u201d t-shirt. \u201cI\u2019m not here on business,\u201d she said, taking a sip out of a travel mug that said Might Be Wine? <\/em>in a casual script.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I grunted and went to the kitchen to start my coffee. \u201cWhy are you here at all?\u201d I asked. \u201cI thought we agreed you don\u2019t exist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t. Usually.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I poked my head back into the dining room while the coffee maker burbled and snorted away. \u201cThere are exceptions?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs long as you\u2019re writing a little bit every day, I\u2019m not real.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd if I\u2019m not writing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you\u2019re not writing, eventually you do what every other self-indulgent writer does and start wondering wistfully where \u2018your<\/em> muse\u2019 is. Which is when I show up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo you only show up when you don\u2019t<\/em> show up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPrecisely. As long as you\u2019re plucking words out of your skull and putting them on the page, you don\u2019t need me. It\u2019s all you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd as soon as the writer\u2019s block hits\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou all blame me (or the absence of me) and then – poof<\/em> – there I am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re a walking contradiction.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI exist in a quantum state.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s a big, modern concept for an ancient Greek.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m a goddess, jackass. I know more about how the universe works than most of your kind ever will.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNoted.\u201d I poured a big mug of black coffee and then offered her some. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I sat down across from her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut I knew all this already. Like I said, I thought we\u2019d agreed you weren\u2019t real.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe did. And you do know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, you haven\u2019t written one of your random stories in weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am painfully aware of that, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd you\u2019ve been \u2018shoulding\u2019 and shitting all over yourself because of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI set a goal and I didn\u2019t meet it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd a little cluster of brain cells in the darker reaches of your mind are wondering where I <\/em>went.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I looked down at the table and took a long sip of coffee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTada!\u201d she sang, giving me a wave of the jazz hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou came to remind me the story was in me the whole time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNah. I don\u2019t need to tell you what you already know. I\u2019m here to give you a pep talk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cInspiration?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMore of a threat,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Calliope\u2019s eyes glowed with the fire of the gods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGet out of your head. Get over yourself. And WRITE!!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n My coffee boiled in its cup and my hair stood on end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood talk,\u201d I said, trying not to choke on my tongue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOne of my better speeches.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI feel bad you had to come all this way to give it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI was in the neighborhood,\u201d she said, getting up to leave. \u201cI have a daily appointment across the valley with George R. R. Martin.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I woke up this morning to find Calliope sitting at my dining room table. \u201cIf I\u2019d known you were showing up today,\u201d I said, \u201cI would have worn my formal jammies.\u201d \u201cOh, please,\u201d she said, gesturing to herself. The muse was sitting in my usual chair with her knees tucked up under her chin. She…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1035,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2rDfa-gD","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":451,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=451","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":0},"title":"Old Soldiers — a Doctor Who story","author":"admin","date":"February 2, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"An Introduction I've been a fan of Doctor Who since I was five years old, sitting too close to the TV every weeknight at 7 on PBS (WGBH in Boston). At that age, it scared the ever-living crap out of me (Sarah Jane's android clone losing it's face, anyone?) but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Short Fiction"","block_context":{"text":"Short Fiction","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=14"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/doctor-who-3746155_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/doctor-who-3746155_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/doctor-who-3746155_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1060,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=1060","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":1},"title":"The Author Pokes His Head Out of the Bunker for Fresh Air and Some Updates","author":"admin","date":"August 30, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a hot minute since I've posted ... well, anything up on this here site. I spent June and a good hunk of July taking a very long and satisfying nap. Since then, I've been spending my writing time on the sequel to SERAPH. The working title is TRAGODOI,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/bunker-2359436_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/bunker-2359436_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/bunker-2359436_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/bunker-2359436_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/bunker-2359436_1280.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":940,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=940","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":2},"title":"Random Story: The Rossum Test","author":"admin","date":"March 14, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"After 1500 years, the first of the Longfellow Arks began its final approach toward Earth. The reentry crew had been awoken from their stasis pods ten years earlier to begin their refresher training so they might safely land the behemoth and return what remained of the human race back to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0321-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0321-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0321-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0321-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0321-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":881,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=881","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":3},"title":"Random Story: Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Men?","author":"admin","date":"February 22, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt\u2019s my shadow, you see?\u201d The Seamstress took a long look at Jasper, and then at the troubling shadow behind him, vaguely Jasper-shaped and decidedly not cast by any visible light source. Indeed, the early sun still hung in the east, and Jasper\u2019s shadow was pointing toward it. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/IMG_0277-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/IMG_0277-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/IMG_0277-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/IMG_0277-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/IMG_0277-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":724,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=724","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":4},"title":"Random Story: Snipe Hunt","author":"admin","date":"February 2, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Marty Lester swore quietly at the fire he couldn\u2019t get started. He\u2019d lost track of how long he\u2019d been striking flint against steel, watching the small spray of sparks fall onto his kindling only to die there. He tossed useless tools aside and swore again, louder this time, hurling the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-dice-012521.png?fit=1121%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-dice-012521.png?fit=1121%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-dice-012521.png?fit=1121%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-dice-012521.png?fit=1121%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-dice-012521.png?fit=1121%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":707,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=707","url_meta":{"origin":1031,"position":5},"title":"Random Story: FiveSixSevenEight","author":"admin","date":"January 24, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"A day late, but done. Here's this week's random story based on Monday's roll of the story dice. FiveSixSevenEight Hank Paulsen shuffled back and forth along the rows, pushing his little whisk broom ahead of him. 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