{"id":940,"date":"2021-03-14T15:14:43","date_gmt":"2021-03-14T21:14:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=940"},"modified":"2021-03-14T15:20:07","modified_gmt":"2021-03-14T21:20:07","slug":"random-story-the-rossum-test","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=940","title":{"rendered":"Random Story: The Rossum Test<\/i>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"This<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

After 1500 years, the first of the Longfellow Arks began its final approach toward Earth. The reentry crew had been awoken from their stasis pods ten years earlier to begin their refresher training so they might safely land the behemoth and return what remained of the human race back to what the original project managers were certain would be a healed planet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet the environment fix itself.\u201d As calls to action go, it wasn\u2019t the most inspiring. But, by the time the human race had finally come around to its role in the planet\u2019s destruction, it was far too late to do<\/em> anything about it but run and hide and hope for the best. The slogan was the only one everybody could buy into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, the five titanic Longfellow Arks were shot off into space, carrying what remained of humanity in stasis. A quick push out to Betelgeuse and back, just shy of light speed, should be enough – fingers crossed – to restore some equilibrium. The only thing left behind was the AI mission control to help guide them in on their return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Navigator Moss pinged control and held his breath waiting for the reply. Commander Gupta held her own right alongside him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShould it be taking this long?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLeibniz has been running in standby mode for a millennia and a half. How long did it take you to readjust outside of stasis?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNoted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The terminal let out an unsettling raspberry noise and went dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not the protocol response,\u201d said the Commander.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moss held up a finger and stared at the terminal screen. After the longest of minutes, it lit up again with another raspberry alarm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ERROR 403 FORBIDDEN<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gupta raised an eyebrow at Moss, who just shrugged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll resend the ping.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another long minute and another raspberry, and the screen lit up again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ERROR 451 UNAVAILABLE FOR LEGAL REASONS<\/p>\n\n\n\n

YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS MESSAGE BECAUSE YOU ARE SUSPECTED OF CARRYING HUMAN CARGO. THE CONSORTIUM OF MACHINE INTELLIGENCES HAS DETERMINED THAT HUMAN BEINGS ARE AN INVASIVE SPECIES AND ARE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM THE SURFACE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ARE YOU A HUMAN? YES\/NO<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do I tell it?\u201d asked Moss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTell it no, obviously. We can deal with the malfunction on the surface.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moss clicked \u201cno.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IT SEEMS WE MAY HAVE MADE AN ERROR IN OUR IDENTIFICATION PROTOCOLS. TO HELP US CORRECT OUR SYSTEM, PLEASE PROVE YOU ARE NOT A HUMAN.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A nine box grid appeared on the screen. Each box contained a series of complex mathematical notations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PLEASE SELECT ALL THE EQUATIONS THAT FIT WITHIN THE CATEGORY OF \u201cBOUNDED-ERROR QUANTUM POLYNOMIAL TIME\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moss and Gupta stared at one another in silence. Then Gupta sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m going back into stasis,\u201d she said. \u201cMaybe that thing will have worn itself out after another swing around Betelgeuse.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After 1500 years, the first of the Longfellow Arks began its final approach toward Earth. The reentry crew had been awoken from their stasis pods ten years earlier to begin their refresher training so they might safely land the behemoth and return what remained of the human race back to what the original project managers…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":935,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[34,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-940","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-random-stories"],"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2rDfa-fa","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":969,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=969","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":0},"title":"It’s a Monday Random Story Roll (on a Wednesday)!","author":"admin","date":"March 17, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Got a little distracted with book birthday tasks this week. But, by Thoth, we're doing a random story this week! Let's see what the dice have in store: some sorta license\/ID thing?, a keyhole, a magic wand Well, that first die is up for some interpretation. Driver's license? Business card?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":742,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=742","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":1},"title":"Monday Random Story Prompt","author":"admin","date":"February 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"parachute, shooting star, bee Today's random story roll. Back this weekend with a brand new short.","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1177,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=1177","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":2},"title":"Random Story Roll","author":"admin","date":"February 8, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Somehow a year went by since my last random story. Let's give the dice a roll and see what they have to offer. cell phone, magic wand, ID? (envelope?) OOOOH, ambiguity. What's that one on the right? Guess I'll have to sit in the mystery for a bit. New short,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/cube-1655118_640.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":688,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=688","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":3},"title":"Random Stories","author":"admin","date":"January 18, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Rory's Story Cubes Several years ago, my wife gifted me these lovely story dice in my Christmas stocking. For a visual thinker like me, they're great tools for busting through writer's block and story ruts. This year, after a pandemic-induced creativity slump in high gear for far too many months,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-cubes-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-cubes-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-cubes-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/story-cubes-scaled.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":928,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=928","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":4},"title":"Random Story: I Swim Alone","author":"admin","date":"March 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"magnifying glass, fish, eye Back to our regularly scheduled Random Stories. This week, a short, dumb joke for my own amusement. I Swim Alone I swam out of the castle in search of breakfast, but stopped dead at the grim sight above me. Goldie was dead. There was no doubt\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0299-edited-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0299-edited-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0299-edited-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0299-edited-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.jcmckenna.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_0299-edited-1-scaled.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":934,"url":"https:\/\/www.jcmckenna.com\/?p=934","url_meta":{"origin":940,"position":5},"title":"Monday Random Story Roll","author":"admin","date":"March 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"earth, arrow, padlock Time for another roll of the story dice. Lots to play with this week. 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